My soul is easily seduce by the mesmerizing siren whisper that comes from that is abandoned. The forgotten and rejected spaces that were once filled with so much life and now just hold the destruction of its architecture, yet still processing the strong bones of the beauty of its youth. I can sit in the remains and feel the comparison of its story to that of actual life. It makes me wonder how that solid foundation of structure, both a building and in one’s heart, could so easily fall apart due to its response of neglect.
Have you ever traced the walls of an abandoned building? Have you ever looked back to research what once stood where the destruction now stands? The beauty that came from being something new. There is always this moment in life that you can pin point where it all fell apart. A reason that stopped the love and care of something that was once so important. The same can be said for life. A moment where you find yourself in the middle of this wreckage that effects your entire being. It may be a small set back or it might be a really catastrophic period where your internal house collapses. Where life changes. It is there that we rise from the fall to set the goal to rebuild…or not. And sometimes that is the sad reality that destruction wins. That you stay broken and depleted as the world goes on growing up and flourishing around you. And the harsh reality is that the world is continuing to turn and it doesn't care that you give up and once you do it will slow devour you just as it does the abandoned ruins of where life once lived. That overwhelming despair doesn't care if it takes place within four standing walls or the softness of your soul. Loss is loss.
What will rebuild you? Sometimes its a small repair. The patching of a relationship. The warmth of a fire that died out. The replacement of a window to see into your soul that has cracked under the pressure of time and neglect. But sometimes it takes the entire gutting of the frame work that once stood. Its the tearing down of walls and the replacing of the pillars that construct your life. It is creating a whole new space and a clean slate that can bring light to where the roof collapsed upon you. Rebuilding is never easy no matter how small the fracture. It is messy and time consuming, but you have to decide if your space worth fixing?
Don’t allow your internal house to fall down around you. Continue to fix it no matter how many times it is necessary. There will always be external conditions that will want to battle, but the cost of repairing the broke components will always be worth the time that you invest. Make your life a place you want to live and adjust it if you need to without the pressure of any time constraints. Remember how fast life can sweep you up if you contract yourself and your improvements out to another person who doesn't care how tall you stand. That is your job. You only allow those with your best interest to remain inside your walls. You need and deserve the stability of only the best people in your life to remain to help hold you up. . .But most of all, never undervalue your life. There is something intriguing about the forgotten and abandoned, but that's only because you don't know it’s secrets. Even when things keep piling on one another and it makes it feel like life is going to collapse on top of you, keep in mind that things can change tomorrow. And everything might not be as bad as what it might seem in a specific moment. Make your plan and rebuild…even if it is again and again and again… and create a life that you value.
