I’m starting my own photography business next month. I’m not new at being a photographer, I’ve been doing in for almost two decades, but the opening of an actual studio space makes it feel much more legitimate in calling myself one. That is exciting! I’ve always had that pause in the back of my mind when people would ask me about my career situation, to the point that I almost couldn’t let the words pass my lips that I was a photographer. Up until now, I’ve never charged for my work. I have a difficult time capturing a glimpse of a person’s life and then making them pay me to hand it back to them in stillness on a piece of paper. To me, it has always just been an honor to sit in on and to take part in those moments. Though recently, I have had a number of friends who pointed out in doing this that I don’t put in value in myself or my work, which is what makes me feel like an imposter when I say I am a photographer. So I figured it was time to leap, and start creating the career that I have wanted since my first lighting course in college.
As I started planning to take on this venture, I decided that at some point I am going to start focusing on specializing where my heart is and aim my business towards the reason I fell in love with being behind the camera to begin with. During my years in modeling, I had both positive and negative experiences working with photographers. My favorite photo session was done by a woman who owned the first modeling agency in which I belonged. She had just started dabbling in the photography side of modeling when we worked together on my composite shots. I was then stepping into my twenties and wanted newer photos that would introduce a more mature side with touching on a sexier nature of me without crossing the line of being…..well sleazy. Together we brainstormed ideas that I still look at today and love due to the focus of feminine qualities of the female form. That day was likely the moment when I realized that I would enjoy working within the industry on the side of the camera that I find myself today and wanting to shoot boudoir photography.
Boudoir to me is exploring and expressing the power and beauty of the essence of being a female. Stepping outside of that comfort zone and being vulnerable and empowered both at the same time by facing our insecurities. I struggle on a regular basis with the insecurity of my own body image, so I know this is what drives me in wanting women to see themselves in a more positive way. I want to help women realize their beauty no matter the flaws that they see and to hopefully leave them behind once they can be shown pictures of themselves taking on the confidence to shed that self-doubt that they carry.
Our bodies convey our life story. Maybe it’s the stretch marks from having children, the scar from an accident, or the extra pounds that come along with age. Those details shouldn’t be seen as negative qualities, but as chapters that have unfolded and that are with us as symbols that we have lived. The key is to learning to live with them with grace and acceptance which is a hard thing to do. I’m excited to capture the uniqueness of every woman that walks through my door. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Hopefully the words I give back through each photo are reminders of how incredible each of those women are in the world.