New Year’s has always been my favorite holiday.
It has been since I can remember. It is the whole out with the old and in with the new mentality. And if there was ever a year that needed to be shown to the door, it was most definitely 2019. Break out the champagne and kiss that bitch good bye. And as I do, I realized numerous lessons that it taught me by dragging me kicking and screaming through most of it. I was the girl who would have who would have New Years Eve gatherings filled with family, and laughter and wine and lots (LOTS) of glittery confetti. EVERYWHERE!! It was a celebration of what was to now come. And after everyone left, I would break out my new planner refills and pen in my upcoming goals for the new year. ( Yes, I am that kind of nerd!) And you know what? It was such bullshit! Because as I sit here alone writing this on this New Year’s Eve, lobsterless and no glittery confetti covering me (ok..I do still have an abundant amount of wine~!) the one resolution I have for 2020 would be to make no resolutions. No plans. No official goals other than to try and live an authentic life.
Here is why:
The world is not made up of rainbows and unicorns. For those that know me.. believe it or not you fucking heard it here. And though I still believe there is good in everything if you choose to believe and look for it, there is unfortunately the bad. The wrong people leave this world way too early. Not everyone you believe that will show up for you when you need them will be there. Children grow up way too fast. And the fact is life is messy! Who knew?
Though the optimist in me still holds strong. So here is what I HOPE for in 2020:
I hope to believe in myself more. And that you do too! Not to let this crazy world break what we know to be true. I know that I was once a huge force to be reckon with.. and then that part of me disappeared…but she is now emerging more and more everyday. Now in a different way. I take less for granted. I realize that not everything can be changed. I tell people that I love them more. And I know that not everyone will cheer me on and that is ok. I will no longer allow someone else’s negativity feed me, because that energy can come from so many places that I no longer have the time or energy to figure out why. Neither should you. Do you know you can kick ass? Then go freaking do it.
Next, I will love myself more. You should too! This can go hand and hand with not everyone you expect to show up for you will. Show up for yourself. Sometimes we have our own “stuff” to manage. Don’t take it personal and continue to love and be kind. I can guarantee that I didn't show up as my best this year, but it wasn't because I didn't care. I just didn't always realize my actions at the time and I hope to be better reflecting back on those moments in the year to come. Yet, don't allow people with their own agendas make you feel like you are less than what you are. Do you know you have a beautiful heart? Don’t ever hide it.
Finally, I hope to live a life in honesty as to what I truly want. We all do so many things out of obligation. Do those things make you happy? One of the hardest things is to sign off on and not show up for is what is expected of you. Life should be happy, it is too short not to be. Sometimes we live in this life that is so compliant to those we love that we avoid focusing on our own hearts and minds. There is a lot of fear in finding the truth to separating the needs of one’s self to those of others. But would you want someone in your life to not be honest with you? Maybe it is time to be honest with yourself…. Do you have the courage to do that? Sometimes that jump is freeing
A new year is still my favorite time. So here is to 2020 giving you a clearer vision of your own life. Pushing you to do the things that you know will make you happier. Giving you clarity on your own loves and desires. And finally giving you happiness and abundance that are within your reach once you say yes to who you truly want to be. Be loving. Be kind. But be that force of light in your own life as well as the light in those that you love. Happy New Year!! xoxo